top 10 rules for finding a date

1-make sure she does not have a penis...(unless that is your thing)...2-date her in the daytime at least once...just in case she is a vampire...3-ask her if she thought that hitler was a reasonable human being...(he was not)...4-ask her if she thinks george bush is an intelligent man...(you would be surprised)...5-does she suffer from lock jaw...(for obvious reasons)...6-do lazy ignorant slobs turn her on...(she will figure out that you are lazy and ignorant...by the way you are always acting...you know...lazy and ignorant)...7-does she have an uncontrollably urge to piss in her boyfriends mothers wine during christmas dinner...(seems like a good idea...but the execution does not go over nearly as well as you would expect)...8-will she lie to all of your friends about the size of your penis...9-when you inform her that elvis's ghost is your secret best friend...will she tell you how big and strong you are then proceed to go down your pants...and , finally...10-will she have your grandpa over for supper...even though he has been dead for eight years.