VIRGIN

I KNEW THIS GUY WHO FIGURED HE WAS STILL A VIRGIN...IF HE CLOSED HIS EYES WHILE "DOING IT"...I SAID..." SURE , WHY NOT???  WHO CARES ??? " .

THEOLOGIANS

THE GOOD THING ABOUT TALKING TO THEOLOGIANS...IS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT...OR IS THAT THE BAD THING ??? HARD TO SAY ACTUALLY .

THE LAST SUPPER

WHAT WAS THE MEAL AT THE LAST SUPPER ??? PIZZA OR FISH AND CHIPS ???

CITY CHAMPIONSHIP

IT SEEMED LIKE A SURE THING THAT THE ALLIGATORS WOULD WIN THE CITY CHAMPIONSHIP...UNTIL THEY WERE EATEN BY THEIR MASCOT .

JOB AT LIQUOR STORE...

IF YOU EVER APPLY FOR A JOB AT THE LIQUOR STORE...DON'T PUT " DRUNK" ON YOUR RESUME .

FUCK EYES

WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD...TO MY SURPRISE...I FOUND OUT MY NAME...WAS NOT FUCK-EYES...

CAT AND BABOON...

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR CAT...( OR BABOON )...WAS MADE POPE ???

street dogs...

dogs fuck on the middle of the street...just to teach us humility .

TALKING CAT

THE CAT SAID HE COULDN'T TALK...AND EVERYONE BELIEVED HIM .

BUTCHERING YOUR MOTHER...

ONE GOOSE SAYS TO THE OTHER..." YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...I BUTCHERED YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A REASON...I WOULD NEVER BUTCHER SOMEONE FOR A REASON ".

DISTANT PLANET

MEANWHILE...ON A DISTANT PLANET...THE NUDEST AND THE NAKEDESTS...WAGE A VIOLENT WAR AGAINST EACH OTHER .

ENLIGHTENMENT

THE PATH OF ENLIGHTENMENT...NEEDS A LOT OF ALCOHOL .

TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN..." TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE"...WHO DO YOU THINK I AM ??? JOB ???

HOW TO IMPRESS A GIRL...

THE BEST WAY TO IMPRESS A GIRL...IS TO BURN DOWN HER FATHERS HOUSE...AND SCREW HER SISTER .

PROSTITUTES

I THINK PROSTITUTES SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS SLUT-OLOGESTS .

MAGIC HAIR...

I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW...I HAVE A HAIR PAINTED ON MY CEILING .

CHEATING WIFE...

IF MY WIFE CHEATS ON ME...SHE HAS TO FEED THE GOLDFISH FOR THE NEXT WEEK .

SEX ENGINEERS...

I THINK PROSTITUTES SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS SEX ENGINEERS .

BEFORE TENNIS...

BEFORE I PLAY TENNIS...I ALWAYS HAVE A VASECTOMY .

SLUTTY CRABS...

I WONDER IF SLUTTY CRABS...EVER GET A CASE OF THE PEOPLES .

UNCOMFORTABLR SILENCE

UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE...MAKES SOME PEOPLE HORNY .

THE VILLAGE IDIOT...

THE VILLAGE HERO...LIVES EXACTLY ONE FART AWAY FROM THE VILLAGE IDIOT .

MISPLACED YOUTH...

BETTER TO MISPLACE YOUR YOUTH...THAN YOUR BALLS .

MEANING OF LIFE...

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LIFE....UNTIL YOU FILL UP YOUR COFFEE CARD FOR THE FIRST TIME .

FREEDOM...

YOU CAN HAVE FREEDOM...EVEN IN JAIL....ESPECIALLY IF THE DOOR IS LEFT OPEN AND THE GUARD IS ASLEEP .

SHIT...

WHEN THEY SPEAK GOOD SHIT ABOUT YOU...REMEMBER...IT IS STILL SHIT .

NEVER TRUST...

NEVER TRUST A CLERGYMAN WHO DOESN'T DRINK...IT MEANS HE ISN'T DOING HIS JOB .

POLITICAL CORRECT...

BE POLITICALLY CORRECT...THOSE WHO AREN'T...ARE RETARDED .

SNAKE HANDLING CHURCH

WOULDN'T IT BE WEIRD IF THE " SNAKE HANDLING CHURCH"...CONSIDERED MASTURBATION TO BE A SIN ???

CAT-HEAD

IT WAS FUCKED UP WATCHING THE MAN WALK DOWN THE STREET WITH A CAT ON HIS HEAD...BECAUSE THE CAT DIDN'T MATCH AT ALL .