BILLY BULLSHIT...

BILLY BULLSHIT PUT ON A GREAT SHOW...BUT WHY THE CRITICS REFERRED TO IT AS "A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT"...GOD ONLY KNOWS .

GOOD OLD WHATS-HER-FACE

I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON GOOD OLD WHATS -HER -FACE .

NOAH' REAL STORY...

NOAH'S SON SAW NOAH NAKED AND TOOK A PICTURE AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET...TWO OF EACH ANIMAL CAME TO GET AN AUTOGRAPH...HIS WIFE WAS TOO STONED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE . 

THE CASHIER...

I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE...JUST TO SING A SONG WITH THE CASHIER .

CHIPS AND HOW TO EAT THEM...

CHIPS TASTE BETTER IF EATEN FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG .

HEAVENLY RICK...

MY FAVORITE MOVIE..."HEAVENLY RICK"...AND MY FAVORITE PART ??? WHEN RICK DIES AND GOES TO HEAVEN .

CATS...

THE INTERNET HAS DONE FOR CATS WHAT THE DEVIL HAS DONE FOR PITCH-FORKS .

OUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT...

WORLD'S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT ??? GODZILLA DEFEATED INVADER FROM OUTER-SPACE...MONSTER ZERO .

FAVORITE DUCKS...

MY FAVORITE DUCKS GO..." QUACK , QUACK , QUACK "...THE OTHER ONES SUCK .

DILL-DO POLICE

DOES YOUR DILL- DO HAVE A SMILEY FACE ???

THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE RELIGION...PIG .

THE TENNIS MATCH...

I ASKED THIS GUY IF HE WANTED A TENNIS MATCH...THEN I HELD HIS MOTHER HOSTAGE...TOLD HIM...IF HE LOST...THE OLD HAG WOULD GET IT RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES...YOU KNOW...JUST TO MAKE IT MORE EXCITING .

AN ODE TO A FUNERAL...

THE MINISTER SAYS..."OH , DEATH...WHERE IS THY STING ??? "...AND SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE YELLS OUT..."LOOK IN THE FUCKING COFFIN !!! " .

INSANITY...

INSANITY IS NOT A GIFT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT .

MONKEY'S AND TREES...

MONKEY'S CAME OUT OF THE TREES...BECAUSE IT IS A LOT EASIER TO GET EATEN THAT WAY...THAT IS TO SAY...THE MORE WE EVOLVED...THE MORE SELF DESTRUCTIVE WE BECAME .

A DINGO ATE OUR BABY...

ADAM LOOKED DIRECTLY INTO GOD'S EYES AND SAID..." A DINGO ATE OUR BABY"...GOD REPLIED..."YOU ARE SOOO FUCKING BANISHED"...ADAM SAID..."DID I DAY DINGO ??? I MEANT EVE " .

FRIED CHICKEN...

I THOUGHT I BOUGHT YOU FRIED CHICKEN...BUT MAYBE I ONLY BOUGHT YOU FRIED CHICKEN IN MY DREAMS .

MODERN TIMES...

THIRTY THOUSAND FEET IN THE AIR...SOMEHOW SOME OLD LADY GOT STUCK ON THE WING...I PULLED HER BACK IN AND SHE SUED ME FOR EVERY FUCKING PENNY I HAD .

MASTURBATION...

MASTURBATION...GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT .

ONTARIO...

YOU DID NOT TELL ME YOU WERE FROM ONTARIO...YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE CIRCUMCISED...THERE IS A DIFFERENCE .

CHICKENING OUT...

I WAS PLAYING TENNIS WITH THIS FELLOW...AND EVENTUALLY...IT WAS TIME FOR LUNCH AND I TOLD HIM THAT I HAD TO GO...HE SAID..."ARE YOU CHICKENING OUT ??? "...SO I TOOK OFF MY GLOVE AND SWATTED HIM ACROSS THE FACE .

CRAZY-ASS...

CRAZY-ASS-BOOGA-BOING OVER JELLYFISH...AND I WISH I COULD AGAIN .

HAND JOB...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

SLUGS AND ERECTIONS...

HOW DOES A SLUG GET A HARD-ON , ANYWAY ???

NO IDEA...

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING...BUT I AM ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU ARE RIGHT .

TIME FOR A CIRCLE JERK....

PISSOLOGY

WE HEAR GOD SAY..."PISS"...WHAT WE DON'T HEAR IS..."NOT INTO THE WIND ".