the quest for happiness

the quest for happiness...can really piss you off .

e.t.

one thing for sure about e.t...he knew how to end a relationship...tell someone you will be "with them always"...then fuck off into outer-space .

cars on the street

don't be sad when you see all the cars on the street...just remember...most of them are going to some place they sure as fuck don't want to be .

BED BUGS ARE US...

sad??? need a friend ??? someone to share those long nights with ??? try us...BED BUGS ARE US...you will never sleep by yourself again...introduction offer...get you first pack of 20 bed bugs for fifty dollars...and get your second for half price...BED BUGS ARE US...'cause life is too short to be by yourself . 

a true vegan

a true vegan does not eat pussy .

true story...halifax .n.s.

this child was having the crap kicked out of him every day in school...so guess what the fearless leader-school principal- and his gang of idiots decided to do ??? let the poor kid out five  minutes early so he could outrun them home...enough said .  

true love

true love is like bigfoot...hard to find...and even harder to hold onto .

how our planet got its name

so god said to his only son , jesus (in case you are wondering) , let's call it planet BRAINWASHED... jesus scratched his head for a minute...and replied..."too fucking obvious , father...let us call it...EARTH"...the lord shook his shoulders and muttered ..."i will call it anything you want , my boy...but just remember this...you owe me one ".

oak trees get cut down all the time...but shit trees are left to bask in the sun...which would you rather be ???

plague

the good lord encourages us to have children...because the more children...the better the plague .

mother masturbates

as long as only 99.9999 % of the mothers in this world masturbate...it is quite easy to convince yourself...that your mother does not . 

from a distance

from a distance i can see the universe...from a distance your bicycle looks like a greyhound...from a distance your ass hole is so far away...that it eventually wines up back between your legs .

name : peter penis

name : peter the penis...likes...friction...dislikes : being used to stir coffee...favorite hockey team...boston bruins .