ADVICE...

THE BETTER THE ADVICE...THE LESS LIKELY IT WILL BE TAKEN .

IT

...AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY WITH IT...I MEAN HER .

FREEDOM

THERE CAN BE FREEDOM FOUND IN EVERY JAIL...ESPECIALLY IF THE DOOR IS LEFT OPEN AND THE GUARDS HAVE GONE HOME .

TAKING...

DON'T FORGET TO TAKE MORE THAN YOU NEED...IF YOUR INDULGENCE IS NOT LIKE A CANCER...THEN IT DOESN'T COUNT .

do you...

do you know what is cool ??? a sasquatch with a pet dragon .

BIGFOOT

THE QUESTION IS...WHAT IS BIGFOOT ??? MY GUESS...A BAPTIST .

ABOUT LAST NIGHT

HOW IN THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW WHAT I ATE LAST NIGHT ??? WHO DO I LOOK LIKE , EINSTEIN ???

LIQUOR STORES...

LIQUOR STORES USED TO LOOK LIKE JAILS...NOW THEY LOOK LIKE INSIDE A U.F.O...CHURCHES USED TO LOOK LIKE HAUNTED HOUSES...NOW THEY LOOK LIKE...WELL...HAUNTED HOUSES...BESIDES THE MODERN ONES...WHICH , IN FACT...ARE HAUNTED HOUSES .

DICK SHIT

DON'T TAKE SHIT OFF OF ANY DICK .

...RIDING HOOD

LITTLE RED RIDING=HOOD...SAYS THE " LITTLE " THING IS A REFERENCE TO HER TITS...GOING TO COURT...AND SUE THE FUCK OUT OF SOMEONE.

HEY LADY...

HEY , LADY...YOU DROPPED YOUR SATANIC BIBLE .

A TUNA...

A TUNA IS NOT A FISH...IT IS A SALAD .

DUCK

IF YOU WERE TO DISCOVER THAT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD , BESIDES YOU...WAS A DUCK...WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED ???

SCARY MONSTERS

I WONDER IF SCARY MONSTERS GAZE UPON A BEAUTIFUL SUMMER NIGHT SKY ??? 

ANAL SEX ROOSTER...

A ROOSTER WHO HAS ANAL SEX...IS CALLED A COCK-A-DOODLE-POO .

A NEW BUCKET

WHAT IS ON MY BUCKET LIST ??? A NEW BUCKET .

A PERSON'S VALUE...

NEVER MEASURE A PERSON'S VALUE BY WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR YOU...UNLESS THEY ACTUALLY CAN DO SOMETHING FOR YOU .

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

I TRIED TO READ THIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY ABOUT THIS GUY...BUT THE FUCKER WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF .

the whore of babylon

Stu Strang ‏@StrangStu

THE WHORE OF BABYLON IS OPENING UP A HAMBURGER JOINT .

MORE ON THE WHORE

THE WHORE OF BABYLON HAS HER OWN T.V. MINISTRY .

WHORE OF BABYLON...

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SEVEN YOURS OLD...AND MY FATHER SAT ME DOWN AND TOLD ME THAT THE WHORE OF BABYLON...WAS JUST A SLUT .

HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE...

MOST PEOPLE TREAT OTHERS WELL...WHEN THEY ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW TO MANIPULATE THEM .

LUCKY 18

18 TIMES I PROPOSED IN A SHOPPING MALL...AND 18 TIMES THEY SAID...NO...KICKED ME...AND WALKED AWAY...GUESS 18 IS MY LUCKY NUMBER .

POODLES...

HOW DID POODLES SURVIVE THE ICE AGE ??? EASY...THEY SOLD POODLE SHIT TO THE CAVEMEN FOR BLANKETS .

HUMAN SACRIFICE...

DON'T SKIMP ON YOUR HUMAN SACRIFICE...YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CROPS LAST YEAR .

...AMONGST FRIENDS...

WHAT IS A PATERNITY SUIT AMONGST FRIENDS ???  

CLIMBING...

THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB...THE MORE YOUR HEART SOARS AND YOUR FINGERS BLEED .

REPRESSED SEXUAL ENERGY...

REPRESSED SEXUAL ENERGY...THE ESSENCE OF MANY GREAT RELIGIONS .

GAY RALPH RETURNS...

GAY RALPH RETURNS...AND HE HAS BROUGHT A DILL-DO...BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT FOR .

FEMALE YETI...

IF YOU ARE ATTACKED BY A FEMALE YETI...RUN DOWN HILL .

THE IDIOT

IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS AN IDIOT...DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY ACT IDIOTIC .

ROCK STAR

I REMEMBER MEETING THIS ROCK STAR...I TOOK ONE OF HIS FLEAS HOME AS A SOUVENIR .

ASS HOLES

I WONDER HOW JESUS FELT WHEN HE DISCOVERED MOST OF THE PEOPLE HE RAISED FROM THE DEAD...WERE ASS HOLES .

ARE YOU TIRED OF ONLINE DATING ???

ARE YOU TIRED OF ONLINE DATING ??? I AM...ESPECIALLY CLEANING UP THE MESS .

SASQUATCH GOOSING

I CANNOT TELL A LIE...I GOOSED A SASQUATCH .

GAY RALPH

IT WAS NOT THAT RALPH WAS GAY...IT WAS JUST THAT EVERY HUMAN IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE SISSY GIRL COMPARED TO HOW MACHO HE WAS...SO HE SCREWED THEM ALL .

LIFE IS A LIE

IF YOUR LIFE IS A LIE...TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT IT .

CAT POPE

AGAINST ALL ODDS..MY CAT WILL BE THE NEXT POPE .