sexual hang-up

everyone has some sort of sexual hang-up...but you just don't know how fucked up it really is...until you go to church .  

domestication

if we can domesticate dogs...how come we can't domesticate people ???

the hat

you are aware that leaving your hat on a table...is exactly the same as a bear pissing on a tree ???

sasquatch hunt

the best thing about a sasquatch hunt...is not finding one .

guys are only after one thing...

guys are only after one thing...fried trout .

pageview...

i named my dog..."pageview"...she had puppies and that brought my total to 231 pageviews in one day .

the great white...part 1

one person to be killed by a fluffy pillow...and they will be considered as dangerous as the great white .

shark up ass

lots of shark hunters out there...thing is...the one who get a "great white" to swim right up his ass...gets the most money .

suck my dick...

suck my dick...gluten free .

grade seven...

i barely passed math...and completely flunked puberty .

trigger condems

"trigger's condemns"...invisible...no plastic...completely imaginary...sperm goes flying everywhere...but you can pretend that it don't...that's "triggers" . 

just remember...

just remember that when you buy your wife a chocolate chip cookie...it does not have the power to turn her into a civilized human being .

N .D .P. tax strategy

N . D. P . tax strategy...tax every can of beer ten billion dollars...and pray to god that someone is stupid enough to buy a six pack .

the shitter

...and the sign outside the shitter read..."no shitting" .

domestication

did you ever wonder how man can domesticate animals...but can't domesticate himself  ???

the album...

i am sorry that your album only sold 5,000,000 copies...but maybe next time you shouldn't fart in the microphone .  

loch ness monster's head...

i saw a photo of the loch ness monster's head...which means he must be jewish .

priest and minister...

the difference between a catholic priest and a protestant minister...is that the priest has the guts to wear the dress that the minister wants to wear .

inner peace

to reach this state of inner peace...i had to kill over three dozen people .

homosexuals...

i think homosexuals...are gay !!!

horror movies...

there would be no horror movies...without stupid people .

as the crocodiles...

as the crocodiles converged upon my body...it suddenly dawned upon me...i can't fuck my way out of this one .

slug football

invest in slug football...the wave of tomorrow .

sasquatch jailed...

sasquatch jailed in iraq for having penis pierced...protests abound .

sex with t-rex

the best way to have sex with a tyrannosaurus rex...is to first kidnap its  child .

my slug is !!!

i think my slug is freaking out !!!

girl monkey...

the most amazing thing a girl monkey can do...is play with her penis .

the milkshake...

it is a very nice milkshake...but i ordered a whore .

the loch ness monster...

receiving the loch ness monster into your heart...will not get you to heaven . 

hey , god...

hey , god...guess what ??? our plagues are better than yours .

pet slug

why does my pet slug think i am gay ???