if i were a sea monster...

if i were a sea monster...instead of destroying a boat...i would make the entire crew watch me have sex with another sea monster .

pornography

there is nothing funnier than a bunch of sasquatch making a porn movie .

take no shit

take no shit from nobody...unless it has mustard on it .

the best thing about going fishing with a friend is sucking back a couple of cool beers afterwards...especially if she named her tits...cool beer # 1 and cool beer # 2 .

super hero school

so this fellow opened up a school to train super hero's...for the first lesson...he got his students to jump off a skyscraper and fly into the great wide open...(he wasn't much of a people person).

if you ever get caught running someone over in your car...a good excuse would be that you thought he wouldn't mind .

tribulos

just in case you are wondering...tribulos fucks up sheep.

exorcism

did you ever have an exorcism during tennis ??? 

the day is coming

the day is coming when a humans worth will be determined by the quality of their sexual aids.

fundamentailist christians

i remember back in the 70's fundamentalist christians telling me that there was a persecution coming...what they left out was that they were the ones that were to do the persecuting .   

pissing people off

you.don't know what is going to piss people off under normal circumstances...but if you have something they want...then i will tell you exactly what will piss them off...almost nothing .