nuts

women fall in love and go nuts...men fall in love with their nuts .

universes

maybe there are billions and billions of universes...but ours is the worst one...you know...made of shit and gas .

if there is a sucker born...

if there is a sucker born every minute...then i want her address .

the same religion

once we are all the same religion...the same color...and all that other stuff...the people who stir their coffee with spoons...will declare war on the people who stir their coffee with sticks .

tarantula

tarantulas YES !!! funnel webs...NO !!!

an exorcism

never wear your best clothes to an exorcism .

drink water up your ass hole

fart out your nose...drink water up your ass...either way...you are set for life .

the bridge

warning...bridge is 15,000 above sea level...anyone attempting suicide...will be shot on sight .

some people...

some people do things for people...buy stuff for people...just so they can say..."you fucking bastard...after all the shit i've done for you".

an ode to marriage

i will tell you
why you should marry me
that's exactly what
you deserve
you rotten little
skank