what i forgot...

i know what i forgot to tell you...your brother was put in jail yesterday for armed robbery .

yes

"yes"...the new "no"...amen
"fat"...the new "skinny"...crucify him

"run away"...the new "standing still"

homosexuals

you can always tell a cross dresser...by the way they hate homosexuals .

kermit the frog

kermit the frog just may be the only male celebrity that never let his penis get him in trouble...of course , he doesn't have a penis but that's beside the point .

catholic morality

...at one century or another...the catholic church supplied their priests with prostitutes so they would not masturbate... now , if that doesn't make you want to jerk-off  then nothing will .

big money...

big money will kill you...and small money will murder you .

marriage

there are three reasons to get married :

1-so someone can watch you die
2-so you have someone to yell at
3-and so you have someone to yell at while you are dying

trust

there is nobody more untrustworthy than someone who insists you can trust them .  

never blame a religion...

never blame a religion for being corrupt...just be thankful they can do something very well .

the shit will it the fan

they say  "the shit will hit the fan"...and that is why i never go to a hockey game .

talking fish

definition of a drag...a talking fish that doesn't speak your language .

cock sucker

it was bad enough that his last name was "sucker"...but he had to name his first born..."cock" .

hockey players

maybe you are not allowed to be a professional hockey player...unless you have one of the worst fucking nick-names in the history of the universe .

the queens corgie's

if the queens corgie's ate her...would the english people still think them adorable??? 

this father says...

this father says to his 11 year old boy..."son , are you old enough yet to to get a girl pregnant???"...the kid replies..."depends which hole i stick me dick in , daddy".

control

he who controls god...controls the money .