THE YETI'S SNEAKERS...

THE YETI'S SNEAKERS...MAKE HER LOOK JUST LIKE ANOTHER MONKEY .

ROAD LESS TRAVELED...

"THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED"...HAS A POP MACHINE...AS AN ADDED BONUS .

THE YETI

I SAW THE YETI...AND HER TITS HUNG LOW .

LION TRAINING SCHOOL

ONE LION SAYS TO THE OTHER LION IN LION TRAINING SCHOOL..."ABOVE ALL...NEVER GET CAUGHT STIRRING YOUR RUM AND COKE WITH YOUR PENIS ".

ODE TO THE BANANA UNIVERSE

I SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL...AND FELL INTO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE...WHERE EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL...BUT SMELLED LIKE JUST A HINT OF BANANA .

RATS UP YOUR ASS

PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN OF HAVING RATS IN THE SEWER...NEVER HAD ONE UP THEIR ASS .

PROOF OF THE PUDDING...

THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE EATING...SO ARE THE EMPTY CALORIES .

MASTURBATION DAY

GOD MAY TAKE US ALL OUT SOONER OR LATER...UNTIL THEN...HAPPY MASTURBATION DAY !!!

NAMING...

PEOPLE SHOULD NAME THEIR PENIS "HAND"...THEN THEY WOULDN'T FEEL SO BAD ABOUT SHAKING IT .

THE LOBSTER

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY LEGS A LOBSTER HAS...WHO DO YOU THINK I AM...THE POPE ???

COMING THIS SUMMER

COMING THIS SUMMER..."MY CRACK BABY RAN OFF WITH THE CIRCUS"

BULLSHIT ROOMMATE

I WALK INTO MY ROOM...MY ROOMMATE SAYS..." IF YOUR STUFF IS OUT OF PLACE...IT IS BECAUSE THE HOUSE TIPPED WHILE YOU WERE AWAY" .

DARWIN'S BIG DICK

IF EVOLUTION WERE REAL...WOULDN'T EVERYONE HAVE A REALLY BIG PENIS ??? 

EVOLUTION

IF EVOLUTION ALLOWS FOR US TO SUCK OUR OWN PRIVATE BITS...YOU KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.

EXORCISM

I CHARGE 12 DOLLARS FOR AN EXORCISM...10 DOLLARS TO GET THE DEMON OUT...AND TWO TO CLEAN THE PEA SOUP OUT OF THE CARPET .

WORDS

EVERY WORD BEING UTTERED OUT OF OUR MOUTH...INCREASES THE ODDS OF THE NEXT ONE BEING UTTERLY RIDICULOUS .

FLARMS DICTIONARY

REALITY...SOMETHING YOU RUB ON YOUR PENIS BEFORE SEX .

THE GRAND CONFUSION

WHAT CONFUSES GIRLS IS WHEN THE BEST LOOKING AND COOLEST BOY IN THE CLASS...GETS CAUGHT EATING A TURD .

DINOSAURS

DINOSAURS ARE VERY INTERESTING...AND THE LESS SEX YOU ARE GETTING...THE MORE INTERESTING THEY ARE .

SPIRITUAL BEANS

I BOUGHT SOME SPIRITUAL BEANS...SO I COULD FART MY WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT .

FAVORITE GROUP

MY FAVORITE GROUP IS THE ONE THAT DOESN'T LAUGH AT ME WHEN I ATTEND THEIR CONCERT .

PENIS FLYING INTO THE SUN .

MY PENIS TOLD ME THAT HE WANTED TO FLY INTO THE SUN...I SAID..."JUST WAIT UNTIL I PACK MY BAG" .

MY PET SQUID

MY PET SQUID MAKES FUN OF MY SEXUALITY .

# 69

# 69 MAY HAVE BEEN A LOT OF FUN...BUT # 47 SENT ME TO THE HOSPITAL .

THE SHIT DEMON

THE SHIT DEMON PLAYED IN THE KITCHEN...AND NOBODY NOTICED...BESIDES THE CAT .

JANE AND TARZAN

JANE LEFT TARZAN...BECAUSE HE WAS A SWINGER .

WIFE'S ASS

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT...YOU MADE A WOOL SWEATER...FROM YOUR WIFE'S ASS .

PENIS IN MOUTH

I WAS TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE I WAS NOT GAY...BUT I COULDN'T TALK...BECAUSE THERE WAS A PENIS IN MY MOUTH .

HURTING THINGS

IT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO HURT AN ANIMAL...UNLESS YOU ARE SURE IT CAN'T HURT YOU BACK .

VILLAGE IDIOT

I WOULD RATHER HAVE 1000 VILLAGE IDIOTS...THAN ONE VILLAGE GOSSIP .

FUCKALEE-DUCK-DUCK

THE SKY IS NOT FALLING...THE WORLD IS GOING FUCKALEE-DUCK-DUCK...IT'S OBVIOUS , ACTUALLY .

...BUT WHAT DO COWS KNOW ???

A COW TOLD ME RACCOONS LIVE 20 YEARS .

IT'S A TROLL

WHAT DOES A WOMAN NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE GIVING BIRTH..." IT'S A TROLL " .