anti-wrinkle cream

i bought my girlfriend this anti-wrinkle cream...anyway...it sorta worked...it ate her face off .

federer

if roger federer is such a good tennis player...then why didn't he win the bugtussell open ???

go duck yourself

there is only one thing in the universe i do not understand...that is...why the expression..."go duck yourself"...never caught on*

* preferably on a t-shirt...with a picture of a smiling duck directly above the letters .

do not confuse...

do not confuse the hole in your ass...with the hole in your heart .

moses parting the red sea

after moses parted the red sea...he blew a bubble out of his ass...which was , in its own way...just as impressive .

t. rex

my suspicion is...t. rex was better at fighting than he was at oral sex .

take no shit...

take no shit from nobody...unless it has mustard on it .

camp wacka wacka

the ironic thing about camp wacka wacka was...there was no masturbatorium .

this dog i know...

this dog i know...he loves chasing chipmunks...but hates chasing squirrels .

baby let's get drunk and screw

a young man says to his woman..."let's get drunk and screw"...come my age...you say..."let's get drunk or screw".