jimmy barns...probably the most famous ozzy rock artist ever

i lived in ozzy for two years..."barnsie" would be prayed to for the beer harvest to be a success...and it was .

shit or fan

in this world...you are either shit...or a fan .

first sexual experience...

all i remember of my first sexual experience...is that i was not involved...you know...but the other people performed just fine , i 'm sure .

how to never get caught

don't do anything .

who you are...

it doesn't matter who you are...what matters is...who you are .

persecution of people with third nut...

after we get this racial thing all figured out...we can begin to persecute people with an extra nut .

ejaculating five feet...

billy ejaculated five feet...and they named a mall after him .

we need people...

we need people so cats can compare themselves to them and feel better about themselves .

the three nut people...

what the world needs...is a rock opera concerning the rise and fall of the three nutted water buffalo .

rudolf gets blow-job...

"rudolf gets a blow job...and dancer has to wash his face"...coming soon

alligator fucking

did you ever catch someone fucking an alligator...but you didn't want to point it out to them...because you might embarrass them ???

fuck-eyes...

cardinal richelieu...performs..."fuck-eyes"...and many more hits from his life long retrospective...also included..."let's rob the sperm bank " .

send 100 dollars...

send 100 dollars to FLARMOLOGY...and get your free cardinal richelieu dill-do...batteries not included .

government poem...

i mailed the government a poem...they criticized my syntax and diction .

pyro grinch...

"grinch that stole christmas part 2...pyro grinch"...heating up the screens this holiday season .

things you don't say at a funeral...

a human life is precious beyond all things...you know...besides this one .

harry potter...

two geese watching "harry potter"...one says to the other..."that fucking harry potter guy keeps on picking on that nice fellow , "voltimort"" .

the lady at the coffee shop...

so the lady at the coffee shop asked me if i needed room for milk...i replied..." no , i don't need any room for milk...thank you very much...however...if i could have some room for cream...i would really appreciate it " . 

your sister is hot !!!

soooooo...that's your sister...right??? soooooo...you won't be dating her , right ???

coming this december...

coming this december..."santa and the texas chain saw massacre" .

more holiday shit...

"santa becomes the human lizard...and poisons all the little boys and girls" .

rudolf gets a blow job...

coming this december..."rudolf gets a blow job "...you will laugh...you will cry...it will become a part of you .

charlie manson christmas...

coming this december... " a charlie manson christmas" .

the grinch that stole christmas

before you judge..."the grinch that stole christmas"...just remember...he could have decapitated every fucking " who " before they had gotten out of bed if he had wanted to .

greyhound...

there is a greyhound within all of us...longing for a winter coat .

viking in all of us...

there is a bit of viking in all of us...lets just hope it isn't the rape are pillage part .

obedience school

my dog came home from obedience school...and baked a banana cream pie .

dummy

...that's right...i called you dummy...and if you weren't a dummy...you wouldn't be so offended that i called you dummy...dummy .

what pisses me off...

what pisses me off...is when i drop a piece of paper towel right into the toilet...and miss .

stacken high returns...

coming soon..."stackem high part 4"..." fuck off , 'cause this ain't no dick inside me pants...( it's a gun )" .

secret of the universe...

having sex with suzi may have been the secret of the universe...but apparently...everyone knew the secret of the universe .