joy in cooking

there is much joy in cooking...especially if you are cooking some ass hole who pissed you off .

penis cut off in door

...just saw a movie where a monster got his cock cut off in the door...the only thing that could have made it better is...george lucus .

only jerks jerk...

ONLY JERKS JERK...the anti-masturbation society of the bible belt .

stealing someone's shit...

stealing someone's shit...is not growing the economy .

what is a yeti ???

a yeti is a sasquatch...that doesn't like oral sex .

the first time i played basketball...

the first time i played basketball...i got a strike .

to error is human...

to error is human...to forgive...canine .

the only thing...

the only thing that is not going on...is what we see .

my goal in life...

my goal in life...is to hit a cow in the penis .

for every winner...

for every winner...there is someone smart enough not to give a fuck .

destroying earth...

once we destroy our planet...all the aliens will sit around their spaceships and mourn our demise...either that or not give a flying fuck...you take a guess .

(it's the second one). 

kill the sasquatch...

you go kill the sasquatch...i'll make the lemon-aid .

get rich quick...

wanna get rich ??? go into a layer of COYOTES and sell them FUCK THE ROAD RUNNER shirts .

peace and harmony...

if you are not in a state of peace and harmony...i will beat the shit out of you !!!

the loch ness monster

it does not matter if we believe in the loch ness monster...what matters is that he believes in himself .

signed bigfoot

if you believe in the loch ness monster...you are an idiot...signed bigfoot

capitalism...

the most interesting thing about capitalism...is selling bullets to people so they can shoot them at you .

butter tarts

butter tarts are so much better without the shit in them .

breakfast sandwich...

just got a breakfast sandwich at "tim hortons'"...it was the best sex i have ever had !!!

donkeys on the wall...

i prefer an asylum with pictures of donkeys on the wall...and piss on those non-donkey people .

witch doctor...

choose the right witch doctor...or you will burn in hell .

cleopatra

are you aware that cleopatra used to poison people for entertainment ??? if that don't get you hot...then nothing will .

aliens have invaded...

aliens have invaded to abduct our sasquatch...send ten dollars to help stop this shit...

...pudding

the truth is in the pudding .

real bigfoot...

real bigfoot live up north...only pussy bigfoot live down south .

nick names to hockey players...

i think i could get rich offering pro hockey players a course on making up nick names...because they're fucking horrible at it !!!

...bum tits

"eating horseshit and the pyramid of unequivocal bum tits" ...the new album from "frost mittens"...coming soon to a record store near you...i mean...it would if the fucking things still existed .

shit eating contest...

The thing about a shit eating contest they don't tell you...is that the winner loses .

dr. gill...

dr. gill's new pop psychology book , entitled : "how to burn down the houses of those who piss you off" ...coming soon .

on line dating...

the best thing about online dating...it comes with a cord to strangle yourself with .

jar jar binx dream : bob dylan...and justin beiber...

me has a dream-o...sad , it was...bob dylan's badger dead indeed...trampled on at a justin beiber concert , it was !!! 

cure for werewolves...

cure for werewolves...two bull terrors and a quart of rum .

a 21 gun salute...

the only difference between a 21 gun salute and a firing squad..is a 25 degree angle .

...my poodle

my yeti beat the crap out of my poodle .