TRUE LOVE...

TRUE LOVE IS WHEN YOU ARE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW .

GO HAVE A SHIT...

THE BEST WAY TO MAKE THE PHONE RING...IS TO GO HAVE A SHIT .

EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE...THE POLICE

THOUGHT TO BE A LOVE SONG TO THE POINT OF BEING PLAYED AT WEDDINGS AND SUCH...IS ACTUALLY ABOUT SOME DERANGED STALKER .

...SHOWS YOU WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT LOVE .

"GOD BLOWS HERE"...

THE CHURCH SIGN WAS SUPPOSED TO READ..."GET YOUR WIND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT HERE "...WHAT IT SAID WAS..."GOD BLOWS HERE " ...QUITE THE DISTINCTION .

GRAVEYARD...

THEY PUT THE GRAVEYARD BEHIND THE CHURCH...TO MATCH THE ONE INSIDE THE CHURCH .

THE # 56

DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT THE NUMBER 56 LOOKS LIKE IT IS CRYING ???

DO ALIENS...

DO ALIENS SCRATCH THEIR NUTS AT BASEBALL GAMES ???

HISTORY...

HISTORY DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY...
TO THOSE WHO HAVE TOO MUCH SEX...
UNLESS , OF COURSE ,
THEY SET AN INDOOR RECORD FOR IT...
THEN HISTORY...
CHANGES ITS MIND...
...AND IF YOU DIE...
DO NOT DIE MASTURBATING...
HISTORY DOES NOT LIKE THIS EITHER...
...DO YOU KNOW WHO HISTORY LIKES THE MOST ???
DINOSAURS...
FUCKING DINOSAURS...
NOBODY KNOWS WHY...
IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE BIG ???
THEY LIKED TO PUSH EACH OTHER AROUND ???
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS...
BUT MORE TO THE POINT...
WHO THE FUCK CARES ???

GIANT CHICKENS...

A CHICKEN WILL LAST ME THREE MEALS...IT USED TO BE ONLY ONE...POINT...WE ARE BEING CONFRONTED WITH A SPECIES OF GIANT CHICKENS .

THE THEME FOR A NON-EXISTANT MOVIE...

THE GREATEST FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE
IS COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
THE GREATEST FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE
HE SWEARS TO GOD HE'S NOT GAY

OH , THE BAD GUY CANNOT BEAT HIM 
EVEN THOUGH THEY WISH THEY COULD
HE HAS A HEART THAT'S REALLY BRAVE
AND A COCK AS HARD AS WOOD

PROMISED LAND...

I WANNA GO TO THE PROMISED LAND...AND HAVE A PIECE OF PROMISED HAM...FRESH...NOT OUT OF A CAN...DID I MENTION IT IS NOT OUT OF A CAN ???

A LIFE TIME...

IT USUALLY TAKES PEOPLE AN ENTIRE LIFE TO REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE WASTED A LIFE TIME .

NICE TITS...

I WAS NOT LOOKING AT YOUR TITS
I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR ONION RINGS
JUST ABOUT A FOOT AND A HALF
BELOW YOUR TITS
HOWEVER
SINCE YOU BRING UP THE SUBJECT...
NICE TITS !!!

MAN ON THE STREET...

THIS INDIVIDUAL ON THE STREEET PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD AND ASKED ME FOR MY WALLET...I SAID... " WHERE IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I CAN PUT MY MONY IF I GIVE YOU MY WALLET ??? " .

BABY PIGEON...

I SAW A BABY PIGEON...HE WAS DEAD...AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF..."MAYBE THAT PIGEON IS ME " . 

HIGHER EDUCATION...

IT WAS 1975...BETTY WORE THIS T-SHIRT TO SCHOOL THAT READ..." I WILL BLOW ANY  KID WHO HATES DISCO"...WITHIN THREE DAYS , EVERY BOY IN THE SCHOOL WAS WEARING EITHER A" LED ZEP"... OR "THE BEATLES" T-SHIRTS .

THE GOOD OLD DAYS...

THE GOOD OLD DAYS...DRAGONS WOULD RAPE YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SCHOOL...TOM AND BETTY WERE A-SEXUAL...AND YOUR TEACHER WOULD LAUGH AT YOU IF YOU PISSED YOUR PANTS .

BUT THE ORANGES WERE BETTER .

TURDS AND UNIVERSES...

I SIP MY COFFEE AS I HAVE A SHIT...TURDS AND UNIVERSES...THEY ALL GET FLUSHED AWAY SOONER OR LATER .

THE BODY AND SEX...

DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW
THE ENTIRE HUMAN BODY IS RELATED TO SEX ???
YOU GOT YOUR VAGINA FOR INTERCOURSE
YOUR EYES TO BEHOLD THE BODY
THE PENIS
ALSO FOR INTERCOURSE
THE TONGUE FOR SEMI-INTERCOURSE
YOUR NOSE
TO SNIFF HER SCENT
YOUR FEET , TO OUT RUN HER
YOUR SHIT
TO THROW AT HER HUSBAND

...IT JUST GOES ON AND ON 

WE ARE ALL PROSTITUTES...

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX FOR 20 DOLLARS...OR FOR A BOX OF CHOCOLATES ???

THE TREE PERSON...

THIS FELLOW GOT CAUGHT MASTURBATING UNDER A TREE WHEN HE WAS A KID...AND WHEN HE GREW UP...HE CHOPPED DOWN TREES FOR A LIVING .

MY FAVORITE MOVIE...

MY FAVORITE MOVIE..."NIGHT OF THE DAY OF THE DAWN OF THE VAMPIRES...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON" .

MY HORSE...

MY HORSE WAS IN A PLANE CRAFT...HE HAS BEEN WALKING SIDEWAYS EVER SINCE...AND 435 PEOPLE WERE KILLED .

EVERY RELIGION...

EVERY RELIGION HAS ITS UNIQUE FORM OF GUILT .