evil spirit

i knew this guy who had a dog named spirit...when he was bad...he would say..."evil spirit"...then cast him out .

anteaters

anteaters actually don't eat ants...they just say they do so people wont get curious about what they really do with their long sexy snouts .

god

some people see god as an angry god...but they will know he is a god of love and compassion...right after he melts their brains .

end of the world

there is just one thing i want to do before the end of the world...move to another planet .

goblins

i know that goblins don't exist...because the trolls murdered them all .

my unique friend part 5

so i get my unique friend a job at a cookie store...the lady who owned it...never talked to me again .

my unique friend part 4

he turns off his answering machine...then bitches at me for not leaving any message .

cooking

cooking can bring so much joy...especially if you are cooking someone you despise .

bullet

i once saved a friends life by taking a bullet for them in their living room...in turn...they made me pay to remove the blood stain from their carpet .

a mean word

a mean word can hurt someone...especially if you write it on a bullet .

bowling

i learned the hard way...never mistake bowling for sex .

the funeral

it was a sad funeral...and when the clown threw up all over the corps...that only made it worse .