your father

your father can go fuck herself .

jesus camp

jesus camp...where you can get your dick sucked and people will actually believe you when you tell them that the ministers wife was just saying her prayers...cum to jesus camp .

resistance to life

resistance to life...is like a pie...without any pie .

every business meeting...

just remember...every business meeting...you are only one fart away from losing a contract .

two stages to life

get a fucked up idea...then find a religion that believes it .

triple murder

i would have gone to bible college...if not for that triple murder charge .

a reasonable question

do cannibals say grace ???

"the texas chainsaw massacre"

"the texas chainsaw massacre"...a great movie about building the family unit by finding things to do together . 

good catholic boys

good catholic boys don't masturbate...and that's why there are no good catholic boys .

catholic history moment

are you aware that in one point in history the catholic church supplied some of their priests with prostitutes so they would not masturbate ??? that makes me so mad...i just want to beat myself .

religion and psychosis

religion is some jack-ass's idea of how to justify psychosis .

generally speaking...

generally speaking...there are two types of people in this world...the type that will join a group of evil bastards because they have nice uniforms...and the type that won't even admit that they have nice uniforms .

sucking dicks

LISTEN...i did not spend my entire life repressing my homosexuality...just so you could skip down the fucking street...singing a chorus of elton john's greatest hits...with a dick in your mouth !!!  

teach your children well

if you are going to teach your children to tell the truth...don't forget to tell them how stupid they are going to look doing it .

your pet rat...

name your pet rat...rat...and never forget what kind of animal it is .

there is a key...

there is a key to peace and love...unfortunately...there is no fucking door .

smells like dope

i am glad you smell like dope...and i can't wait until your mother gets a sniff  .

people and badgers

are you aware that in the time of jesus...it was actually believed that people were smarter than badgers ???

god created us...

god created us to have harmony and peace  in common...however...truth be known...all we really do have in common...is that we all screwed jennifer toddles . 

the music industry

the 70's were characterized by people writing songs about muskrats having sex...and making millions off of them...now...people write songs about nothing...and fuck muskrats...strange .

professional wrestling is like religion...

professional wrestling is like religion...but with more body odor .

does it bother you...

does it bother you that your dog enjoyed his bone...more than you enjoyed your trip to disney land ???

english teachers...

english teachers masturbate...efficaciously .

becoming a professional hockey player

in order to become a professional hockey player...first you have to learn the art of finding someone the shittiest nick name ever .

worthless...

i used to feel worthless...but i beat that out of myself .

three nut tony

i finally got to see "three nut tony" in the shower...only to discover that he only had one nut...FIGURES !!!