tampa bay

i would like to move to tampa bay...just to form a baseball team and call them the tampons .

students 10 % off day...

in the eight and under lane...the lady in front of me had 17 items...the cashier asked her if she was a student...i replied..."if she is...she sure as fuck ain't taking math."   

suck in bed

in a bizarre twist of irony...men love women who suck in bed .

people

you can't really hate people...until you really begin to love them .

"the call"...

i didn't start drinking...until i answered "the call" to ministry .

leaves...

leaves turn color...people turn on each other .

when you die

when you die...people have wonderful things to say about you...unless , of course...your name is jesus .

billy sperm

babies were actually invented...by a guy named...billy sperm .

youth

youth is the perfect opportunity to believe that fucking things up...is good for a laugh .

cock sucker 5

"the cocksucker 5" was a really weird name for a rock group...especially because there were only four people in it . 

oral sex

the best way to have oral sex...is to change the name of your cow to oral .

the flintstones

we are now living in a society where "the flintstones" is too intelligent for the average person...enjoy !!!

let's make a sperm deal

sperm contestant # one...where do you want to go on vacation ??? the back of someones mouth ??? or on a piece of toilet paper ???    

sexual engineer

a whore who makes more than 40 dollars an hour...is a sexual engineer .

hats in church...

the real reason why the apostle paul made the ladies wear hats in church...it gave him a hard-on .

i always wanted to be a sports broadcaster...just so when someone asks me about someones batting average...(or whatever)...i could say..."who the fuck cares???"