a heretic

a heretic is just someone who loves god more than you .

the 60's may be long gone

the sixties may be long gone...but the name of burgschine mcdiggerduff...will live on forever .

beating the shit out of you

i'll stop beating the shit out of you...when you stop feeling entitled that i should stop beating the shit out of you  .

what god thinks of you...

it doesn't matter what i think of you...what matters is what god thinks of you...and just let me assure you...he thinks you are a fuck stick .

oral sex

next stage in the evolution of a horse...oral sex .

a heretic is just someone who knows more than you do...or...possibly...less .

the tennis match

it was a great tennis match...but when the goose took the raquet...stuck it up his ass...and hit a perfect cross court winner...that has the high point .

on line dating

the best thing about on line dating...is it comes with a cord to hang yourself with .

viagra

meanwhile...billions of light years away on the planet viagra...someone comes up with an idea for a great export business .

leo

my goal in life is to meet leonardo decaprio...and convince him to have a
 "critters 3" reunion .

marrying an ass hole...march 18 2013

marrying an ass hole...does not give you special privileges with the rest of humanity .

the cigarette...march 6 2013

this fellow asked me for a cigarette...he tried to anyway...i mean...it's kinda hard to when you have eight hanging out of your mouth at the same time .

milli vanilli

when milli vanilli got caught doing all that lip sync shit...they should have went back on the road...called it their..."FUCK YOU" tour...complete with a free c.d. telling people to grow the fuck up...get a life...and if you like the music...then let the music speak for itself...you know...basic shit .  

go fuck yourself

"i just found jesus and his eternal mercy and forgiveness...so you can go fuck yourself !!!"

a spouce

a spouse will always agree with their partner...or always disagree...what is actually going on is just about incidental . 

news flash :

reverend robert jones found naked and shot dead just outside his church...bishop ralph "the herpes machine"  mackay wanted for murder...police suspect it was a drug deal gone wrong .

god's mistake

almost everyone spends the majority of their lives hanging out with morons...or being a moron...unfortunately , it is a lot easier to be one than to hang out with one . 

the cop...march 10 2013

so this young fellow is about to commit suicide but a cop sees him...the cop yells out..."stop or i will shoot ".

sucking your own penis...march 10 2013

once a man can suck his own penis...he will begin being honest with you concerning his sexual relationships .

prayer...feb. 28 2013

this guy is walking down the street in a deep state of prayer when he finds a used condom...through this experience he concludes that he should go home and have sex with his cousin .

heterosexuality...march 7 2013

just because you like to have your wife watch you have sex with guys...does not mean that you are heterosexual .

a good religious person

you are not a good religious person...until your beliefs have no reason or explanation .

thank you...march 2 2013

the happy , happy...joy , joy puppy club says..."if you can't say thank you...then fuck you".

your name...march 3 2013

people don't like it if you can't remember their name...but how about if you can't even remember your own name...you think that would lead to compassion , would you not??? maybe...sometimes .

bill's religious empire...march 1 2013

bill's religious empire...trespassers will be shot on sight .

sex

i envy young people because sex is always on their mind...i pity young people because sex is always on their mind...i pudding young people because sex is always on their mind .

the minister

so there is this minister who claims to have a ministry of tucking in professional athletes and kissing them good night...he doesn't do very well .

an ode to a color blind child

my father told me that brown hair "looked like shit on the top of someones head"...what he forgot to tell me was that i had brown hair .