spiderman's new enemy

my pick for "spiderman's " new enemy...is..."ducksuck"...and you better hope your name is not "richard" . 

monkey teeth

why are these monkey teeth marks all over my banana ???

"blinky" fucked !!!

"blink blink the magic fish"...found dead...linked to bizarre religious bullshit .

coming soon...

coming soon..."blink blink the magic fish" .

the last days...

in the last days...godzilla will lick rodan's nuts...and there will be peace for 1000 years...or something like that .

the milkman who delivers sperm

a milkman who delivers sperm...ain't really a milkman at all .

sasquatch armpit...

they say nothing smells as bad as a sasquatche's armpit .But who is the fucking idiot that goes around smelling them ???

cock-o-puss...

cock-o-puss...the horniest guy in the sea...and with eight cocks .

sex with your wife

yes , i did think of having sex with your wife...but take comfort...it was a nightmare , not a dream .

bible college

i swore an oath in bible college...not to do anything that i couldn't get away with .

slut slammers

started a basketball league for loose women...call it "slut slammers" .

...i see a bed...

every time i see a bed...i am just so fucking glad i am a vampire .

monkey psychology

my goal in life , you ask...to learn monkey psychology .

talking fish

the talking fish called me a "cock sucker "...he don't talk no more .

...the talking fish

"blink blink"  the talking fish...has taken a vow of silence .

long cock octopus...

the truth of the matter is that an octopus has seven legs...and a really long cock .

if sex were a city...

if sex were a city...it would be one with lots of car accidents .

mints...

if you are really giving me these mints...then i can forgive you for murdering my father . 

space monkey to earth...

space monkey to earth...i think i see rainbows .

whore hoops

started a basketball league for prostitutes...call it..."whore hoops" ...sign up today!!!

olympics

if i were the prime minister of canada
for the next olympics
i would send a special olympic team
that was really overweight
chain smokers
and maybe a couple of them
had only one leg
that way
if we won
people would be really impressed  

...superhero .

sticking your head up your ass...does not make you a superhero .

weird

there is nothing weird going on here...you know...besides the weird shit .

2027

it is the year 2027...west highland terriers rule the world...masturbation costs three cans of dog food...we need a hero !!!

toilet paper collection

...just wait until you see my toilet paper collection .

don't tell...

don't tell anyone...but i wash my kitchen floor...with shampoo . 

robot cabbage .

my fucking robot cabbage ate my wife...now all my friends want to borrow it .

testicle man

your favorite super hero is 'testicle man ???' are you nuts ??? .

never...

never come out of nowhere...the government will experiment with you .

the rolling stones

i never said you fucked 'the rolling stones'...i said...fuck 'the rolling stones' are great...there is quite a difference .

cults

before you get too proud of your cult...remember...the bigger the idiot...the more people he will get to follow him .

jerk-me-off

never name your child...jerk me-off...unless you are from north europe .

grandma's pie

i used to eat at "grandma's pie"...until i found out grandma was the main ingredient .

three toed yeti...

three toed yeti shot dead...local yeti sodomizer in big depression .