born again christians

born again christians love to witness...one of the things they witness...is me...running in the opposite direction .

the best way to

the best way to demonstrate your masculinity is to take a girl bowling...and laugh at her when she rolls the ball into the gutter .

moses

when moses parted the red sea...he misses out on a great opportunity to be the first person to fish sideways .

selling records

selling a million records will make you famous...so will cannibalism .

tobacco companies

in america...people sue tobacco companies and get billions of dollars...in canada...they get a free pack of smokes .

perfect love

if you want to love someone perfectly...change the definition of the word .

be who you are

be who you are...just make sure nobody is around .